You know you're from Abbotsford when...
1. Everything can be normal until you are infested with the deep scent of curry.
2. You find out Abbotsford has the worst property crime in the country... usually by experiencing it.
3. You aren't sure whether marijuana is legal or not.
4. You think that you've grown up in India
5. Everyone in West Abbotsford knows how to swear in Punjabi and everyone in East Abbotsford knows how to swear in Korean. 씨발!
6. You see a gas station on every corner.
7. You see a church on every corner.
8. You see a grow-op on every corner.
9. Five degrees is really cold and twenty is really hot.
10. Going to the only mall is really boring and stupid.
11. Rain is a part of daily life.
12. Berries are the best thing from Abbotsford.
13. You live right outside the barrier of "Greater Vancouver"
14. You live in the crappiest metropolitan area in the country.
15. Street names aren't numbers, but names of birds, mountains and everything that starts with "Mc/Mac"
16. You don't think seven hockey arenas is enough.
17. Your mayor is an octagenarian.
18. You know when the Diwali festival is.
19. You know when the Berry Festival is.
20. School is cancelled when there is only 10 centimeters of snow.
21. You've grown accustomed to the smell of cow manure in the morning. *deep inhale* ahhhhhhh!
22. Going to Vancouver is a long day trip.
23. You use the Trans-Canada highway to get around
24. It takes 10 years to plan and build a hospital, and your council wants to complete all Plan A projects in just over a year.
25. Someone asks you where you're from, and you answer, "Vancouver."
26. You tell someone you're from Abbotsford and they ask, "Where?"
27. Bowling is the highlight of your day.
28. Blueridge is the hot nightspot.
29. You know what the "big orange bubble" is
30. You know how to spell and pronounce "Trethewey"
31. You know where Hedley came from and are ashamed of it.
32. You don't need Playland, because we have the Agrifair.
33. You've noticed our 'water tower' is really a cheese tower.
34. You pretend to like everyone because you know that once you graduate, you're outta here.
35. You spend way too many nights hanging out in the 7-11 parking lot
36. You know what the 'mechanical vacuum gorillas' are.
37. You know that Wonderland is not a place in Ontario
38. You sit on a bench which is actually a paint palette, farm machinery or a creepy guy.
39. You've never been on public transit until you move to Vancouver.
40. You know that, despite what the sign says, the name of our club is Shitty Limits.
41. Tim Hortons.
42. You miss seeing the mountains after moving away
43. You can't wait to move somewhere else.
44. The flea-market is a must-go-to-event on Sunday... after everyone goes to church of course
45. You have been part of the glory days partying up on Sandy Hill before there were houses there
46. Castle Fun Park (Wonderland) is the "choice" site for drug deals and criminal activity
47. The street chosen to host our biggest hotel development plan is known as "Hooker Ave"
48. You see ten people that you know walking two blocks to a convenience store
49. A "fair fight" consists of you eating the boots of 20 of the toughest people in existence.
50. You realize the automall is bigger than the actual mall.
51. You hate Chilliwack. I mean the Chillbillies.
52. You develop asthma.
53. You are the drainage center for all of Washington and Vancouver's pollution.
54. You get excited when 10 cm of snow is forecasted, since school might be cancelled.
55. Your school board is retarded because they made decisions about opening school before it has started snowing.
56. Your city was the murder capital and bible belt of Canada.
57. You don't get excited about Christmas lights anymore because people keep them up all year round.
58. Selling crack is a rewarding and prosperous career.
59. You can't help but notice the odd piece of clothing on your cab driver's head. If you ever take a cab.
60. Someone tell you what their religion is, you usually have to ask them to repeat themselves.
61. School lockdowns and school vandalism are no longer a reason to gossip. Days where nothing happens however...
62. You've seen all the signs, yet you still have NO idea what "PLAN B" is...
63. You know that the 'Grand' cinema is not so grand...
64. The banning of firecrackers/fireworks only increases sales
65. It takes moving to Ontario to appreciate Abbotsford
66. Castle Fun Park will ALWAYS be Wonderland...
67. You have two movie theaters in your town yet you still go to Mission or Langley to catch a flick.
68. Going into town means going into an actual town ie. Vancouver. Nobody even bothers to mention that they're going to Sevenoaks anymore, it sucks too much
69. You avoid driving down south fraser between 12:15 and 1:15 on a sunday afternoon because of the after church rush hour
70. You remember setting up lawn chairs in the backyard to watch the airshow
71. You've tried Gravity Hill
72. You have "picked berries as a child" on your resume
73. You've Searched for Gold
74. the motor vehicle branch asks you if you need a translator
SO TRUE!!!!
posted by -Laur- @ 6:29 PM
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